How to Be Effortlessly Confident | Viv Groskop | Talks at Google
Viv Groskop, an acclaimed writer and comedian, shares invaluable insights about confidence and how to tap into it effortlessly.
She introduces the concept of ‘Happy High Status’, a state of confidence that doesn’t come across as self-obsession.
Groskop’s insights are derived from her experiences and the wisdom encapsulated in her book.
She urges everyone to redefine their perception of confidence and leadership.
Confidence: A Generational Perspective
Generational differences influence the perception and manifestation of confidence.
Older women often discuss maintaining certain standards and repressing parts of themselves, whereas younger women tend to reject norms that don’t resonate with their personal style or comfort.
You really have to discover it for yourself almost as an artistic act. So what I wanted to encourage people was to find a way of being in themselves that feels good to them and not be hamstrung by this idea that, oh, only confident people can do certain things, or I can only speak up if I’m confident. No, it doesn’t work like that. – Viv Groskop
Navigating Status and Relationships
‘Status’, as defined by Groskop, is about a person’s relative position to others.
It’s not about wealth, but about relationships and how one interacts with others.
‘Happy High Status’ is about making others feel comfortable rather than imposing oneself or deferring to others.
Adapting to Professional Norms
The narrative of Aline Santos, a senior leader at Unilever, who had to adapt to her workplace norms as the first woman in the boardroom, illustrates the challenges women often encounter in maintaining their status in professional settings.
Authenticity and Confidence
‘Happy high status’ is about being true to oneself while being contextually appropriate.
It’s not about being deceptive, but rather adjusting oneself to suit the situation.
Intersectionality in Confidence Discourse
Issues often associated with women, like confidence and leadership, are applicable to various groups of people.
Groskop emphasizes the significance of intersectionality, acknowledging that these discussions are not exclusive to a single group.
It’s not that you’re born with it, some people have it, some people don’t– no. We all have it. It’s just busting it out when you need it and feeling comfortable in uncomfortable situations. – Viv Groskop
Diverse Interpretations of Confidence
In her podcast, Groskop invites guests to share their interpretations of what ‘happy high status’ means to them.
These diverse perspectives reinforce the idea that there’s no universal definition of confidence.
Entitlement and Confidence
Groskop discusses the concept of entitlement and how some people might not even realize they possess it because they naturally ‘own’ every room they enter.
She believes it’s crucial to discuss this to demonstrate that not everyone feels the same way or naturally commands a room.
Emulating Positive Traits
Groskop uses examples from popular culture, like mafia movies, to illustrate how one can create a high status for oneself.
She discusses how the charisma and power of mafia figures can be emulated positively, without resorting to violence or intimidation.
